They say an Eglish man's home is his castle, why then he has become so ignorant and unprotective towards it.....Is it because all castle have a king and a queen and now this old fashioned school of thought is thrown out of the window in our society. Cohabitation is not a sin, if carried out with the same commitment and dedication but lust and incest certainly is! Rape and murder is! Stealing and betrayal is. What happened in Austria,is surprising. And more so that it went on for 24 years and no body even knew about it. Is it possible? whole system is on the verge of collapse! Is it because there is no king, so no attack , and no protection? No, situation might be other way around , no castle like safe home, so no kingly or majestic feeling...what is left is just a street fight...a scrap for that last piece of leftover....A thought which really requires full delving. In this issue of Lekhni onus is on home and feelings it arouses. relationships it bonds...security it gives...yes, sometimes heartache too ..But still a home is a home ...and should be a home, everyman's castle...English or Non English.
While in this issues Hindi Story Basera is a longing to reroot , English story Trees in Kew Garden Is about the futility of it all. Two stories on same topic but totally different and equally touching and effective...enjoy reading!
We have started a new page from this issue. Our younger reader should make a note of this Kid's Corner, and should send us whatever they want to see here printed. Their stories, poems, artical or even a joke. Age is no bar. From five to hundred all are welcome as long as you are young at heart...and work you are submitting is your own, So get writting.
Bye for now, till we meet again next month, Same time, same place. -Shail Agrawal.
Ihad an irrepressible desire to see England. If a person has never been to a foreign land ever, he is bound to have a strong fascination for it. In a way, I owe it all to the generosity of Bhaji. Had he not come to England, how could I have sought the fulfilment of my dream? In India, the proffession of a teacher only provides for the basic needs of the family.
Last night Bhaji and his friend Subhash took me to a pub.It was for the first time that I have seen a pub. In such a place, beer tastes very different. Inebriated ambience, ornate expensive furniture, beautiful, smiling barmaids. One of them was fairy-like, blue eyes, velvety black hair, soft fleshy limbs and a slender frame. All I wanted to do was to keep guzzling endless pints of beer, without taking my eyes off her. Perhaps I was staring a little too hard so that Bhaji felt compelled to indicate to me that I shouldn'nt do it so shamelessly. I felt as though I was sitting in Indrapuri. And I couldn't help saying, " Thanks to you Bhaji I, too, could have a glimpse of heaven!"
" Just wait, once the layers of this heaven start unfolding before your eyes ever so slowly, you'll get to know everything." this was Subhash, adressing me.
Laughing mildly, Bhaji had looked towards the roof and said," Initially when we came, we too, had been deceived in this manner."
" What is to be deceived about? You told me yourself that one has to be prepared for the life of an ordinary labourer here. And after the works hours, it's entertainment all the way through. In India even a judge can't afford to visit such a place on a regular basis. " For my own understanding, I wanted to get to the bottom of things.
Emptying out a glass as big as a jugin a single swig, Subhash said, " You are here only on a short visit. You need to stay much longer to be able to understand things properly. Now sugercane juice, lassi or curd, saag and raddish might be just everyday things for a farmer, but people living in the metropolis could have a strong craving for them. In much the same manner, beer and bar are the reflections of a metropolis. Often the capitalist forces have a hand in pushing unsuspecting workers in a groove." Subhash had tried to explain, though it hadn't made much sense to me.
Then Bhaji said:" Subhash, the fact of the matter is that we haven't really learnt the knack of living in a foreign land. This is the main reason for our loneliness and sadness."
At that time, I had found the words 'sadness' and 'loneliness' somewhat strange. I thought to myself that this was something like beckoning death, while you were still enjoying yourself. What kind of loneliness and sadness were they talking about? They had the best of times, colour tellies and brand new cars. They were living in absolute clover, almost like maharajahs.
We emptied our glasses, came out and started homewards. That beautiful barmaid was still busy, filling up the glasses, flashing her smile at the customers as she went swinging from one to the other.
On the way Subhash started telling Bhaji, " You'd perhaps recall that when Gurubaksh Singh Preetlari came to England, he had stayed with us for two days. And that's when he had told us, " Friends, you mustn't live for the future. Neither has anyone ever returned from the foreign land nor will you return to India ever. It'd be much better if you were to develop some sense of sharing with the people here. History has been a witness that those who go to the foreign land rarely ever return, only there telegrams do. So you must learn to live in the present. One who doesn't know how to live in the present can't really live in the future either. In any case, future is far better than present."
" Yes, I do remember it very well. When Ihad said 'You've returned home yourself, but why are you demoralising us so much?' he had laughed and said, 'Come on yaar, everyone can't aspire to become Gurubaksh Singh Preetlari.' "
"Bai, that's really true. Everyone can't hope to become Gurubaksh Singh." All of us had repeated in unison.
During the first two weeks, I really felt quite bored. Sitting at home by myself, I would often feel tedium creeping into my bones. It was good in a way that, almost every day, Bhaji would leave different Hindi film videos so that I could pass the hours. Both of them would return home by six in the eveninig. The children would be in by four. But as soon as they came, they would either rummage through the fridge or start fiddling with the telley or clambering up the stairs, go into their rooms. I would make an effort to interact with them but they would not show much interest. So, even when they were home, I would feel rather lonely.
It was for the weekend that I waited most expectantly. That is when Bhaji would invariably take me out somewhere. Either we would go sight seeing, visit new places or friends and relatives.One Sunday it happened to be quite warm and bright. Even though it was March, the sunshine was as warm as if it was June.
Bhaji and Bharjai had decided to take me to the seacoast. I was, indeed, very happy. I hadn't ever seen the sea before except in films. On the basis of those I had once sketched out the ambience of coastal area in one of my stories as well. But this Sunday I was finally going to the sea. Subhash and his family were also accompanying us. Bhaji and subhash were very close friends. Such a friendship is not possible without commonality of beliefs and human ideals.
It had taken us about an hour's drive to reach the coast. The waves in theblue waters were rising towards the shore as if they wanted to greet the visitors. All the children set off towards 'Fun & fare games.' Bharjai and Subhash's wife also decided to follow them. This is what mothers do when children grow up. Then they don't really feel the need to follow their men. The three of us started walking along the seashore. From the way the entire place was decorated, it appeared as if some festival of the white people was on.
Bhaji was talking about the benefis of seawater, which he said, was enriched with all kinds of minerals that could easily be soaked up by the human body through the pores of its skin.
" Then you must be coming here every two months or so?" I asked.
" No way Yaar. Ever since we've come to England, it must be our second or third time, really. There is hardly any time for such things. Besides, it's also a manner of choice." Subhash has replied.
" Just as we haven't been able to assimiliate with the white people despite living among them, in the same way we have been so near the sea and yet so far," Bhaji said, running his eyes into the far distance as though he was measuring the length of other shore.
The tidal waves were rushing in towards the shore and people sitting upon the sand were slowly stepping back. A few White women who were braless, were lying face downwards. When the water came rushing in, covering their breasts with the towels, they moved further inland and then lay sprawling upon the sand all over again. But it seemed as if the water was chasing them around teasingly.
One Indian women was bathing with her sari on. Her wet sari clung so tightly to her body that, despite her clothes, she appeared to have been stripped naked.
" Yaara, let's go in for a swim." It appeared as though a desire for playing with the waves had surged up inside Kulbir Bhaji's heart also.
" Let it be. We haven't ever done that. It's quite embrassing." Subhash has voiced his dileman.
In the meanwhile, a statuesque hite woman went swirling towards the waves, breezing past us. The sunshine had given her wax-like, oiled skin the same glow as copper.
"Yaar, how these women love to sculpt their bodies!" Bhaji said, staring at her body.
" Just look at our women. Their stomachs are like lumpy dough. And their thighs sagging." Subhash suggested, by way of comparison.
" In comparison, our men too figure nowhere. We are no exceptions. Not without reason do we feel embarrassed while removing our clothes." Bhaji stopped in the middle of a sentence and then, looking at a Gujrati sitting upon the sand, he added,
" Now just look at that man's pitcher-shaped stomach. it's as if he's sitting with a huge watermelon between his thighs. Doesn't he look somewhat like Mahatma Buddha?"
" We don't look that obnoxus! Come on, let's remove our shirts."
" All right. You aren't going to say it everyday!"
Both of them jumped into the water. I was quite keen myself but as I was wearing long knickers underneath, I became a little self conscious. They invited me repeatedly but, on the pretext of feeling cold, I kept standing upon the shore.
After half an hour, feeling a little cold, they too emerged out of the water.
" Yaar, it was really wonderful! We just keep feeling self conscious without any reason."
"Such a deep-seated inferiority complex is also bad. After all, what's so special about the White's except their skin?"
It was already four in the evening. Feeling thirsty, Subhash expressed the desire to have some beer. But Bhaji suggested that we return home and Go to the It was as if he had become a soul-mate to his own children.
Later, the three of us went to the pub in the park. Filling up our glasses, we had barely settled down when a group of White micief-makers came and parked themselves next to us. It was apparentthat they were in a mood to create trouble.
After sometime, one of them turned his face towards us and asked,"Got a light?"
" Sorry, we don't smoke." Subhash was quite iconic in his response.
" But you do drink." All of them burst out laughing.
In the meanwhile, one of them, who was wearing red T-shirt and appeared to be a body-builder, asked Subhash, "What is your nationality?"
"British." Subhash was as brief as possible. On hearing this, all of them started laughing.
The same white man repeated the question, a crooked smile on his lips.
"let's go home and drink. As it is, we're tired today." With these words, Bhaji got up to leave and so did we.
Going past the counter, We wound our way out. The barmaid with black-hair smiled at us and said 'bye' as well. She was the same woman whose charming smile had bowled me over on the first day. But today, I couldn't even get myself to respond to her 'bye' and her smile, too, appeared somewhat lukewarm to me. I felt as though her smiles had no special meaning and that it was more of a habit, really.
As soon as we got home, Bhaji poured out large pegs of whisky for us. And then he started narating to bharajai the incident at the pub.
" I always say that you should drink at home, if you must. What's so special about these pubs and clubs?" said Bharjai, on hearing him out.
" But daddy, there were three of you, and fairly young at that. Why couldn't you give them a few slaps?" Pappu piped in.
" Bastard, isn't enough that we came home on our own. And you didn't have to carry us from there!"
" We thought, we have to show Kew Gardens to your chacha, tomorrow. So we should be in one piece until tomorrow, at least." Subhash told Pappu in half-jest.
"Though I had to learn about a good many things in England by now, there was always something that threw up a new surprise every time. Now what was this thing called ' Kew Gardens?' I was rather curious to know more about it.
Finally I decided to ask Bhaji as what to these 'Kew Gardens' were.
" In these Gardens you find those species of flowers, plants and vegetation which are not native to the England soil."
" Then how have they managed to nurture them here?" I was completely bewildered.
" They have spent a lot of money and a built a huge glass-house there. The plants get plenty of sunshine and warmth. The steam in the pipes running through the glass-house makes it humid inside, somelike monsoon in India. In this kind of controlled climate, they have managed to grow all kinds of crops, including ugar cane, cotton, maize, banana and thousands of other varieties. Efforts are made to create the climate most suited for the plants and trees. Trees such as mango and jamun are also given the right kind of climate to grow."
I saw that Bhaji was now dead drunk, but emptying his glass, he started again.
" Balli, Subhash and I. You'll find many more like us. We are all trees of Kew Gardens. Our roots don't run deep. We tried our best to strike our roots in this climate but it just didn't happen or perhaps we didn't really know how to do so. In Kew Gardens, you do find mango trees, but they don't ever flower. And that's what our situation is. Like the trees in Kew Gardens."
“Go get a cart Rachana,” my mom said as we entered the grocery store. We just came home yesterday from New Jersey at the end of winter break and needed to refill our practically empty fridge. All of a sudden I felt like I was being watched. I snapped my head around but saw nothing unusual. A moment later I felt it again. This time I ignored it telling my self I was being silly. Suddenly a colorful figure grabbed me and glided to a door I had never seen before. There was an eerie glow to the figure; that’s when I realized that the figure was a small ghost of a young girl with lonely eyes. She had a tiny nose and a very small mouth. Instead of two legs she had a pearly white tail that finished with a small curl. She wore clothes that were very colorful which was very odd for a ghost.
Thud! The ghost dropped me on the cold floor of the room with the mysterious door. “Hi,” said the ghost in a nervous voice, “I’m Jewel, the ghost that lives in thisgrocery store; are you Rachana?” “Yes, bu…bu...but...who are you and what do you want with me?” I stammered as I asked the ghost. “I think you can help me find my water bottle…” “Wait a second; you want me to find a…water bottle?” “Yes, but not just any water bottle as you might think, it’s one that has a liquid that I have to drink to stay a ghost.” “Well, where is it?” “I don’t know, I think it is somewhere near the vegetable section. At least that’s where I think I dropped it.” “Weeell, I’ll look for it and if I find it I’ll give it to you, Jewel.” “Thank you,” she said as she opened the door to let me out.
I went to the section where my mom was and told her that I was looking at something very interesting and that I was sorry for not keeping up. From then on, I helped my mom a lot in the grocery store than I normally would have because I was anxious to reach the vegetable section which we usually do last. After a while my fingers were numb from opening so many cold freezer doors. Just as I grabbed a bag of white bread, I noticed that bread was the last thing on our list before fruits and vegetables. I nearly ran to the vegetable section to look for Jewel’s bottle. I checked all the rows and under some tables but found nothing. Just as I was about to give up, I saw something glinting. I picked it up and it was a turquoise bottle. I knew it was Jewel’s. It was small and had a silvery substance in it that was whiter than pearls. The bottle also smelled like pine trees. I raced back to Jewel’s room, gave it to her and raced back out after promising her to visit again. I hope that we will go shopping for groceries more often now because Jewel is there and that Jewel will never lose her water bottle again. I will always remember how nervous I was but how quickly Jewel and I became friends and I will never forget my first adventure with Jewel.
INSPIRATIONAL "In 3000 years of our history, people from all over the world have come and invaded us, captured our lands, conquered our minds. From Alexander onwards, The Greeks, the Portuguese, the British, the French, the Dutch, all of them came and looted us, took over what was ours. Yet we have not done this to any other nation. We have not conquered anyone. We have not grabbed their land, their culture, their history and tried to enforce our way of life on them. Why? Because we respect the freedom of others." Dr. Abdul Kalam
आज मैं आजाद हूँ दुनिया के चमन में जिंदगी के करीब 35 साल दूसरे देश पाकिस्तान के जेल में बीत गए-आसान तो नहीं होता पर कहते हैं न कि अगर किसी की याद दिल में बसा लो, तो वक्त कट ही जाता है। या किसी चीज की लौ दिल में जला लो, समय निकल जाता है। जब-जब उदासी घिरने लगती और मन परेशान हो जाता तो मैं किताबों की आगोश में खो जाता। किताब का एक-एक शब्द जैसे एक-एक जख्म पर मरहम लगाने की कोशिश कर रहा हो- मन को बड़ा सुकून मिलता था। किताब, रसाले, उपन्यास जो हाथ लगता पढ़ डालता था। जब मैं भारत से पाकिस्तान आया था तो मेरे बच्चे बहुत छोटे थे। उनकी याद सताती थी मुझे लेकिन कुछ कर नहीं सकता था- मजबूर था। नाजुक दिल आपके दर्द को और गहरा कर देता है। सो बाद में मैने ये सोचना कम कर दिया कि बच्चे क्या कर रहे होंगे क्योंकि अगर दिलो-दिमाग में हर वक्त यही ख्याल रहता तो मैं जेल में जिंदा बचता ही नहीं। बस खुद को यही तसल्ली देता रहा कि बच्चे जहाँ भी होंगे सही-सलामत ही होंगे।
फरिश्ता कहूँ या अवतार : जेल में रहते हुए 1988 में मुझे पक्षाघात भी हो गया। वक्त के थपेड़ों ने तन-मन दोनों को कमजोर करना शुरू कर दिया था। जैसे-जैसे समय बीतता गया जेल से रिहा होने के आसार कम होते नजर आने लगे। जिंदगी जैसे-तैसे कट रही थी-किसी लंबे, रहस्यमय अंतहीन उपन्यास की कहानी के जैसी जिंदगी, वो कहानी जिसे शुरू करने के बाद छोड़ दिया गया हो और जिसे अपने अंजाम की तलाश हो। उसी दौरान एक फरिश्ता आया मेरे जीवन में- अंसार बर्नी। उनसे मिलने के बाद हालात ने अजब तरीके से करवट बदले और जो कुछ भी अच्छा हुआ वो पाकिस्तान के पूर्व मानवाधिकार मामलों के मंत्री अंसार बर्नी की ही मेहरबानी है। मेरे लिए तो वे अवतार बनकर आए- भगवान कहिए, वाहे गुरु कहिए या अल्लाह समझ लो। वर्ष 2008 के जनवरी महीने में बर्नी साहब जेल का दौरा करने आए। अंसार बर्नी मेरी चक्की भी आए। चक्की मतलब वो क्वार्टर जहाँ मैं बंद था। कैदियों से पूछा गया कि हमारी सजा कितने साल की है। उसी दौरान मैने बताया कि सजा-ए-मौत सुनाए हुए मुझे 30 से ज्यादा साल हो गए हैं। अंसार बर्नी ने बस इतनी बात सुनी और मेरा नाम लिखकर ले गए। मेरा ही नहीं, वहाँ जितने भी कैदी थे जिनकी सजा को 10 साल हो चुके थे, वे सबका नाम ले गए। इन 14 लोगों में सरबजीतसिंह का नाम भी शामिल था। पाकिस्तान के राष्ट्रपति के पास माफीनामी के लिए अपील गई। उन्हें बताया गया कि मैं 35 साल से यहाँ बंद हूँ। पिछले 35 सालों से समय का पहिया जैसे मेरे लिए रुका हुआ था। फिर चंद ही महीनों में समय का चक्का ऐसा सरपट दौड़ा कि अभी तक उससे कदमताल करने की कोशिश में जुटा हूँ। बर्नी साहब से मिलने के कुछ महीनों के अंदर ही मेरी कोठी तोड़ दी गई..आपकी भाषा में बोलूँ तो पाकिस्तान के राष्ट्रपति ने मुझे रिहा करने का आदेश दे दिया।
पंछी बनूँ उड़ता फिरूँ मस्त गगन में : तीन दशकों तक मैने काल-कोठरी के अंधेरे में तन्हा जीवन बिताया था। इतने सालों बाद जब बाहर कदम रखा तो आँखों को चौंधियाती रोशनी मिली, नीला आसमाँ देखा, आसमाँ में उड़ते पंछी देखे। खुली हवा में साँस लेने को मिला तो ऐसा महसूस हुआ कि मैं बस अभी-अभी पैदा हुआ हूँ....इसके आगे सोचने-समझने का मन भी नहीं था मुझे,शब्द गौण हो गए थे। भगवान ने मुझे नई जिंदगी दी थी, जेल से निकलकर मैं गुरुद्वारे गया और मत्था टेका। रात एक आलीशान होटल में बिताने को मिली..मन में उत्सुकता थी। तीन मार्च 2008 को मैं रिहा हुआ और चार मार्च को मुझे बड़ी इज्जत के साथ वाघा बॉर्डर पर छोड़ दिया गया। बाकायदा मेरा पासपोर्ट बनाया गया था। मुझे पाकिस्तानी पुलिसवालों के हवाले नहीं किया गया। सीधा भारत भेज दिया गया अपने परिवार के पास-जैसे किसी भी व्यक्ति को भेजा जाता है जो पासपोर्ट के जरिए यहाँ से वहाँ जाता है..अदब से। भारत-पाक सीमा पर देखा तो टीवी चैनलों और पत्रकारों का हुजूम उमड़ा हुआ था..अचानक मैं उनकी नजरों में ‘अहम’ शख्स बन गया, हर कोई इंटरव्यूह लेना चाहता था। कुछ देर के लिए रब्ब ने मुझे एक ऐसी ऊँचाई पर जरूर पहुँचाया दिया था जहाँ लगे कि आप बड़ी हस्ती हैं लेकिन मैं इस सब के काबिल नहीं हूँ। खैर भारत की सीमा में कदम रखा तो आँखें अपने नन्हे मुन्ने बच्चों को तलाश रही थीं। जब जेल में था तो हमेशा मन में यही तस्वीर रहती थी कि एक दिन जब वापस आऊँगा तो मेरे बच्चे मुझे वैसे ही मिलेंगे जैसा मैं उन्हें छोड़कर आया था। और अब जब भारत लौटा हूँ तो बच्चे वैसे ही मिल भी गए हैं। बस फर्क यही है कि मैं दो बेटे छोड़ कर गया था, अब वापस आया हूँ तो जिस उम्र के बेटे छोड़ कर गया था अब उसी उम्र के पोते मिल गए हैं। एक बेटी थी पहले मेरी पर अब चार बेटियाँ और मिल गई हैं- मेरी दो बहूएँ और दो पोतियाँ भी तो बेटियों समान हैं। एक बेटा मेरे साथ अब गाँव में ही रहता है। वहीं दूसरा बेटा इटली में काम करने गया हुआ है। मुझे मिलने वो इटली से भारत आया था कुछ दिन पहले। हम दोनों ने एक-दूसरे से मुलाकात की। लेकिन पता नहीं क्यों इटली वापस जाते समय न वो मुझसे मिलने आया न मैं उससे मिला...... वो एक-दो रोज मुझसे मिला लेकिन फिर मिलना शायद उसे पसंद न आया हो। बहुत सारी बातें अनकही-अनसुलझी रह गईं। मेरी बिटिया रानी भी इटली में रहती है और जून में अपने बेटे के इम्तिहान के बाद मुझसे मिलने आएगी। मुझे इंतजार रहेगा.... (अगली बार डायरी की आखिरी कड़ी में जिक्र उन भारतीय कैदियों का जिन्हें मैंने पाकिस्तानी जेल में देखा है, बात अपने गाँव में आने के बाद के अनुभवों की और वहाँ अपनी पुरानी पहचान तलाशते कश्मीर सिंह की)। (35 साल पाकिस्तान की जेल में बिताने के बाद कश्मीरसिंह चार मार्च 2008 को अपने वतन लौटे हैं। कश्मीर सिंह के जीवन के अनुभवों पर आधारित यह श्रृंखला बीबीसी संवाददाता वंदना से उनकी बातचीत पर आधारित है।)
क्या आदमी जानवरों जैसा होता जा रहा है या जानवर ही मानवीय बुद्धि और संवेदना से लैस होते जा रहे हैं, वैज्ञानिकों ने भ्रम ही खतम कर दिया है तभी तो विभिन्न विभिन्न जीव जातियों के मिलाप से नए भ्रूणों की रचना का कार्यक्रम बनाया जा रहा है इसमें पशु-पक्षियों के साथ मानव भ्रूण भी शामिल हैं। अभी यह योजना ज्ञान-विज्ञान और उपचार के लिए इस्तेमाल की जाएगी परन्तु संभावनाएं अनगिनित और कभी-कभी डराने और चौंकाने वाली भी हैं। पता नहीं यह भगवान-भगवान खेलने का खेल हमें और आने वाली पीढ़ी को जाने कैसी दुनिया दिखाए। किसी मनचले ने इन संभावनाओं में झांकने की कोशिश की है, आइये हम आप भी देखते हैं।
They say an Eglish man's home is his castle, why then he has become so ignorant and unprotective towards it.....Is it because all castle have a king and a queen and now this old fashioned school of thought is thrown out of the window in our society. Cohabitation is not a sin, if carried out with the same commitment and dedication but lust and incest certainly is! Rape and murder is! Stealing and betrayal is. What happened in Austria,is surprising. And more so that it went on for 24 years and no body even knew about it. Is it possible?
PIano
Unlocking
Home
Trees in the kew gardens. 
The Grocery Ghost
INSPIRATIONAL
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आज मैं आजाद हूँ दुनिया के चमन में 
